there are many time i face lots of problem because i unable to take a stand.... how to support a particular party when you truly understand how and why each party have their own point..... sometime i really hate myself for this... why feel so much... choose one party and fight till the end.. aren't its good... why wanna be the middle person.... but i knew very well i cant... haiz... how to deal with this thing....
second thing , something i dont like about myself is why i usually dont have the courage to say out my mind.... and think lead to me unable to be true to myself.... truly envy some of my friend that can stand up for their friends and love ones... why i cant do it.. did i really wanted so much to be in people good book.... did I....
third thing is when will i learn to be more responsible.... haiz.. i also don't understand why its so hard for some of my friend to believe in my ability.... when i say i will it means that i will.... why question when you want to find me.... haiz... i found out that actually i mind.. infarct i too mind how people view and say about me.. every question of doubt that you throw out will lead to two ending.. one is i getting nervous and start to doubt my own capabilities, second thing is i do more things you say its wrong just to prove you wrong will definitely earn me another good title of being stuborn...
after all that i say.. is it really my problem... i have try to change.. but change back to usual self real soon..... is my nature really that week..... getting tired of being label stubborn, indecisive and all sort of title i get..... sometime i just wish i find more people that understand me.... someone who i dont need to explain things and she know its not me, someone who wont be afraid and question on my ability to bring them from one place to one place.... haiz.... after all problem still lies in me..... too mind for other feeling and i will see for myself how this feeling kill me in no time....
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