Life is better if there are meaning in it...

i have been thinking for a few days what i actually want in life. but the more i think, the more i went into self confusion.. its seems like i want a lot of things in life but i didn't seems to take any action to make it a reality. i was just waiting for it to happened by itself. i already have that thinking for quite some time but i wasn't fully aware of that.. maybe it happened in my subconcious or unconcious state. my friend told me one night that i look like got problem a few days ago but why on that time i look so happy. i in the other hand don't know what to say, i didnt realise that i have a problem. maybe at that time i already found out the answer. hahahaha.. life was such a relieve when you know the answer... when you found the meaning.... when you know what you should do.....it was like everyday when you wake up, you know there are something for you to do, something waiting for you to make something happened, life is meaningful now.. hahahaha... the meaning of my life give me motivation to go and hand on in my studies and i hope it will slowly change me into a hardworking student..... life was great now... hahahaha....
I have found mine... how about you???

Something to ponder..

Many times in our life, we compared ourselves with other and we always feel others are better than us. Weather they are taller than us, have a smoother skin than us, look more beautiful than us and many more. The more we compare, the more we feel we are imperfect and there are to some extent we started to blame our parents for failing to give us the traits that our friends or brother and sis have. Does the thinking of actually our parents have already give us the best they can pop up in our mind? Although sometime what they give us or what we inherit from them is not what we want but it’s doesn’t mean they haven’t give us the best they can?
Think about it, some of us might blame our parents for given us either too small or too big eyes. But do we wonder, even though it’s was either too big or small; our eyes are perfect for it can see the world. What the use of beautiful eyes, if it can’t be used to look at the world. If all of us have this type of thinking that is even though our body, our organ, or our senses is not the way we want it to be but it was working perfectly. Aren’t it’s a blessing. Isn’t it what we should thank our parents for? But how many of us actually thank our parents for given us the good conditioned body? Instead we keep on comment how imperfect we are and this might indirectly hurt their heart. Think about it, if all of us have the same look, can we count ourselves unique. It’s the different that made us a unique person in the world. For you can’t find another person that look exactly like you. They might look similar but not the same.
These thought came to me when I visit a handicap home today. From there I learned that even though my mom doesn’t give me a pretty look but she has given me a great or should I say a perfect working body. I don’t need a wheelchair for I can use my leg to walk, I doesn’t need to take medicine and undergone medical treatment, for she have given me a perfect organ system. And if I do have to undergone such suffering, it’s was my own fault for failing to take care what I have. Even though I’m not a genius at least my brain was working for me. I can think using it. Maybe the imperfect that I think I have is indeed perfect after all. Why compared in the first place? Instead of compare its better we take the time to accept and thanks our parents and god for given us what we have today.
From there I also learned that our life is very fragile. It might gone any minute, any time. We never know what would happened to us the next minute so its very important for us to appreciate and love every minute in our life. One of the uncle words really made me think. That time we was visiting 2 handicap person that are bedridden and one of them have fall asleep. The uncle tells us that during our small time or during our infant time, our parents used to watch us sleep. It’s make me wonder have I seriously take care to look at how my parents sleep at night. Have I care about them like how they care for me. Have I love them deep enough like how they love me?
Well a trip to the handicap home is really worth my time for it have teach me a lot of things, sometime things that I take for granted. I have learned to love myself as who I am and love the person especially my parents when I still have the time. All that they have done to me is impossible I can give back but I can always do something to make their days.

The most enjoying and playful day

Well today is the day that can be counted quite memorable for me. It’s a day where I get to play under the rain. Crazy right. Well in the morning, I with sis ( M.L and S.L ) go to dkp to online. Sadly, my laptop got problem and can’t get connect to the wireless. Till now also have that problem. Haiz. Stupid laptop. Or do you think it’s the owner who are stupid? Hahaha… Then around one something like that we wait for shuttle bus to go to one borneo mall. We go there to buy some cooking ingredient for dinner. I suggest to cook and so I was the chef. But in the reality was I really the chef?? Hahahaha .. My dear friend, I guess you should know the answer la. Hahahaha .. fong theng that you know don’t know how to cook wan ma so its quite impossible I was the chef. With big sis and third sis to help me to prepared the ingredient, and the most important part is second sis who help me to put the necessity "perasa" to make the soup yummy. Hahahaha.. with second sis help, a tasteless soup turn out to be very yummy.. when drink time, got home feeling cause the taste was more or less same like the soup that my mom cook. Look like I still got a lot of things to learn..
Turn back to the time before dinner, its was the time when big sis and me go back to hostel. Its was raining, and none of us bring an umbrella ( I don’t even own an umbrella) and we make a very fun decision that is to walk back to hostel under the rain, without umbrella. Sound crazy to some of you all right, but its was fun. Walking back under the rain, playing, if not now there would not be any chance left as we grow older as each day pass by. We get wet but happy… hahahaha … thanks sis for accompany me doing all this crazy stuff…. Hahahaha.. Such a memorable day.

a thoughtful day

many day in our life, we know something is wrong, we knew we shouldn't do it, we knew the consequences that will happened if we do it but trust me or not, in the end we would still do the things we tell ourself that we shouldnt do. why?? why?? why we still do things that we know its wrong. is it our rebellious heart that motivate us to do what is considered wrong or is it just our curiousity to know weather the consequences that would happened is like what we expect to? i really wonder... if anyone know why, please tell me...
sometime we do want to change when we know our action or habit is wrong, but sometime it just seems too difficult to change. we do try but the change wouldn't last long. automatically we will change back. sometime it's even confusing. we dont think our action is wrong but people around us would say its wrong. should we listen and change. if we do so we lost our real self. if we didnt listen, hmmm, maybe what other people say is true. have we all wonder, that in this world, many people loves and always encourage other to be their ownself but if their ownself is different from what the society expect them to be they would say that its wrong and must change. but do you all wondered, if everyone in this world live life like everyone does, what is the difference from one to another. isn't everyone is special and different? hmmm.. good point to think...
today is really a day where i think about what i really want. what i really hope for. what can i really acheive but it look like today was a day i think nonesense.... all my thinking dont even link. hahahaha..... nothing much to do so just anggap i crap in here la..... hahahaha.. wish you all a good day