No feel

it's being quite weird, exam coming real soon but i'm still not turn on the study mood button... it never happened before in my life... spm and stpm although i didnt really study and put in much more effort that i require to, at least i take out the book and notes to read.... but now... haiz.. this coming tuesday exam already but still in playing mood.... haiz.... am i really not in the mood of revising now or there something in my mind that i being thinking of that i think its much more important.... i also dont know.... haiz.....

A World Of Constant Change.

This world is forever changing, nothing is permanent. this is the words that i have reads some time back but i didnt really know the meaning... now think back it really do... i still remember, during primary time, i will ask my gang of friends la, hui wen and soon ying, the closest, about why this earth is round and not square or triangle, or anything else. why its sphere... i guess now i know the answer... the reason why earth is sphere which is more or less round is because its a symbol.. a symbol that means eveything that is and were has no begining and because they has no beginning, the never really end... they just move in circle and when the condition is right, things will started to repeat itself....
hahahahaha.... i guess some of you who read it will have a big question marks and when you link it to what i will write below, it make sense....
i guess what i might face is the same thing i face few years back and it happened twice already... if it going to happened again now it will be thrice... they say one beaten, twice shy.. why it didnt happened according to the proverbs... i face the same problem for so many times and yet i can't really learn from it... am i stuborn or am i still trying to find out why it didnt works as it seems to be... guess some of you might still have question marks but i do also... so no point i explain detail here.... but i believe there sure will be one who understand all this... hahahahaha
enough la... dont want to think liao.... laazy to think so much... brain crack, hair white, grow wrinkle, headache and all this leads to die prematurely...hahahahaha my own theory... just let me crap here la.... hahahahahahahahaha....... i do hope the history will not repeat itself for the third time for until now there still no world war III... let me have some time to really sort it out la.... they say laugh makes you forget everything...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahahaha. no cure also.... ok la.. write till here la..

First and last time in my life.

This is something I have done and it thought me a very good lesson. A lesson that I have learned and will never forget. Ever wonder why teacher always say, don’t copy during exam, no discussion, just do your best and be honest to yourself. After all these years, I finally understand. It’s not the person who copy who feel the guilt but also the person who choose to tell out or let others copy especially when the answer you was so sure was right, was actually wrong.
Well, that day during exam, I did something that I never did before. Never once it happened in my life all these years in my studies. I also don’t understand why I did it but it’s an action that I have done and I regret doing it. That time we are facing an exam, an exam for a course that I have attend for almost 7 weeks but I hardly master any of it. That time, I sit beside my friend. When we open the test paper and see the question, I was just normal, maybe it’s because I know I can write something on it and it’s not that hard as it seems. As least I won’t submit a blank paper after attend 6 lectures. The paper just got three questions, and my friend asked my view on the last question. Last question hold half from the total mark. A very heavy question. I saw her scribble something but I can’t see it clearly. I saw her confused look and wish to help her. I guess I know the answer and I just got the confidence that the answer is a right one. I take a pencil from her pencil box and write down the answer on my paper. Clear and big enough for her to see. Everything happened very smooth and she understand the meaning of why I take a pencil from her pencil box and write down on my answer paper. All this happened without a single sound. She thinks for a while and later she chooses to follow my answer. Before I done this, I was just battling with myself to tell her or not. It never flash in my mind that my answer would be wrong.
She finish early and she submit the paper first. When she checked back, she told me the answer that she thought and scribble is the right answer. My answer was totally wrong. Oh my god. What have I done. Ten mark just flew away. How am I going to repay this mistake I have done. She didn’t ask me for an answer, I’m the one who are so busybody give it to her and worse the answer was a wrong one. Haiz….. if only the moral that I learn all the years win on that battle, I wouldn’t have guilty feeling now. What to do now. Serious speaking, this is the first time I did something that I know I shouldn’t done all in my life and the lesson that I have learned was enough to teach me that there will never be a next time ever again.
From this incident, I finally understand why teacher always say the same things during exam that is no cheating and many-many more. Most important is don’t help in cheating. If only I abide the rules and follow advice, I will not have this guilty feelings. I feel very scared to get the result for this course. I don’t know how to face her. I did say sorry to her and she says its ok. But the guilty feeling just didn’t go away with just a words of sorry. From here I also learned that eventhough two person learned the same things, it does not guarantee both have the same thinking. This is because when I wrote down the answer, I try to kaitkan and in my answer paper, I got write down some of the correct answer indirectly. I finally understand that one person key word not necessary be the same with another person. I used that as key word but my friend use another instead…. Haiz.. a big lesson learned in life.

Semester break trip.

During the one week semester break which fall from 16-23 August, I went to two places of interest in Sabah. On Monday which is on the 17 of August, together with friends we go to 3 island in Sabah. Sabah famous for it scenery so it’s a waste if I didn’t take this chance to really look at what Sabah island really look like. After all I’m counted an island girl also. Compared to Penang, Sabah island was more beautiful and definitely cleaner. The island that we go is manukan island, mamutik island, and sapi island. All in one day. Crazy right but that what we choose to do, travel 3 island in one day. I already forget which island we go first but sapi island was the last island we visited.
Well the first island was beautiful and I have a memorable experience there. When we arrive there, majority of friends already go snorkeling. Nothing much to do, cause I don’t snorkel as I got a bit fear of water. In addition, I don’t know how to swim and that make me more fear to snorkel. I sit there for a while before accompany my friends mom to feed fish. We bought “kulit roti” to feed the fish. The fish there was beautiful and since the water was clear, we can see the fishes swimming. The scenery was brilliant. After a while, we walk back to our usual place and I join my friends in the sea. Crazy right. I’m really scared at that time as my friends called me to walk deeper in the sea to join them. I guess the water was on my chest level. I feel scared and tell them the water is too high, I can’t go any further. Surprisingly one of them point out to me that my leg still stepping on the sand and I’m still taller than the water. Hahahaha… that true la but I feel I have already gone too far from shore. Hahahahaa.. memalukannya.. you know ar, that time I grab my friends hand so tight that I think if I just let go of the hand I will drown. Hahahahaha…. After a while I run back to shore. Another friend came and find me and bring me down to snorkel. She wear the equipment for me and bring me to the shallow part of water. How amazing they try to calm me down by asking me to watch the beautiful fish that swimming in the seaside. I manage to look at the fish but I got chocked and drink sea water due to too excited and talk. I wasn’t supposed to talk, laugh and so on when in water. Stupid right. Now I know why the tortoise will open its mouth and fall from skies according to the legend on why tortoise shell was not smooth.
After that, I didn’t play anymore but still in water. As it was hard for me to snorkel cause I not dare to go deeper anymore and its hard for me to breath, one friend that is second sis teach me how to swim. All the while third sis was by my side. Second sis teach me swim or should I say lay down on the water. Till now, I still feel amazing how I can float in the water. I lay down stiff cause I not dare to move. I feel that if I move, I will drown cause its not stable at all. I hold on to third sis hand very tightly. All the while she was talking by my side and she slowly let go of my hand. Something very funny is when she let go of her hand I feel that I will not float and I move, once I move it really feel like I’m drowning and she will grab back my hand. Hahahahaha… After a while in the water, I manage to calm down or that what my third sis thought cause at least I can float in the water without holding on to her. I can be calm partly because I trust in her that she will be there and if I don’t move around I won’t drown.
Slowly she bring me into deeper water but I don’t realize how far we gone from shore cause all the while my face and eyes see skies. I got the feeling that we gone too far from shore and the wave bring us further and further from shore but third sis assured me that we didn’t move from even a spot. Hard to believe but I trust her. All the while she was beside me talking to me and the feeling of scared really made a fool out of me. You can hear my voice shouting when I think I will drown. Thinking back now, I still feel funny and I wonder where the courage come from. How come on that time I can really floating in the water when I don’t plan at all to play water. How I feel at that time? I feel scared and wonder why I search for this feeling. I know the voice beside me made me have the courage to stay in the water. If I was alone, I don’t know what really will happen.
It will be something very memorable cause this is the first time I swim if you count floating part of swimming. Then other people first lesson of swimming was in swimming pool, mine was in the sea. other than that, other people first lesson of swimming was “pelampung” and guess what I wear? Life Jacket… Hahahahahahahahahaha…. All this will be part of memories in my life. How I got courage to do what I usually don’t.
Second pulau, nothing special cause after first swimming lesson I don’t plan to have a second one. I play sand pula. I ask feel people to buried me cause I didn’t play before and I want to know how it feel being buried. At first, it was ok but as the sand cover me up more and more especially on the chest I started to feel hard in breathing. I feel there are something heavy on top of me and it really hard to breath. After a few picture of my friend masterpiece, I finally can get up. I continue my nap after clear away the sand that cover the top part of me especially on my chest. As the sand was being moved away, I feel better. Before go to the third island, I walk around in the island with first sis.
Third island, sapi island was the island that quite bored. Maybe we are all tired after visit two island. Since the sea already “surut” many of my friend didn’t manage to snorkel. I just sit at the seaside together with first sis and her mom, talking and observing people. Manage to observe that there are two type of guy and how they treat their girlfriend. One of them was not really handsome, but offered first class service. When his girlfriend take out the shawl, the guy will fold it before put it back inside the bag, take care of the girl by making sure the equipment was alright and slowly bring his girl down in the sea and teach her to snorkel. On the other hand, the handsome one, just dump his girlfriend shawl inside bag and all the checking of equipment was not done. Guess from here can show that a handsome guy may not be so caring after all. No one is perfect and if both are still single which one would you choose? Hahahahahaha guess now some of you might think I too free observe people till like that but what can I do. That the course that I study… hahahahahaha… ok la write till here la.