this semester break in penang was a fun wan at least till this moment. cant denied there are some thing that not so pleasant happened but overall its a nice wan.. have an outing with sue lin they all, bring one of my sabah friend walk around penang. although there are many place more that i can bring her go visit but serious speaking i'm having fun exploring penang road with her....
this semester break i also feel i'm getting more rapat with soon ying. it's feel like 5 years ago when i was in f4 and f5 where we both will have endless chat after tuition, eat together and having fun together... as time past in between where each busy with each life, this semester break really strengthen our friendship.... having great fun chatting with her, gossiping around and definitely commenting someone and something.. hahahahhahahahha... endless fun.... we also have kerang feast where both of us finish nearly 2kg kerang by ourself and making tang yuan... well our tang yuan was as big as fish ball. hahahahahhaahaha... full on first serving and only the greatest will ask for third serving but till now no one... hahahahhahahahhaha... and also maple tips.... hahahahhahahahaha..... memorable....
Monday, June 21, 2010
Daddy day post...
as usual a post to daddys especially mine on father day... well daddy i make you a poem. this poem i writo sometime back when i was in sabah while waiting for another class to start...
Feelings..
Words are hard to be say,
feelings are even harder to be expressed,
of how i feel towards you,
deep down in my heart.
So wish do I
tightly hug you in my embraces,
to listen to your heart beat,
to smell the fragrance of your body.
but these are the things that i can never done,
i do love you deep down in my heart,
but the courage to hug and say i love you,
is something i can hardly do.
i will always remember ,
of the time when you proclaim to the world,
how much you love me,
how important I am to you.
For it's that moment,
i feel being love,
I feel being taken care of,
by a hero and that you.
Always in my mind,
times when i'm small.
how you hold my hand,
how you teach me math.
never once you feel tired,
never once you loose your temper,
even though you explain the same thing
and i still make same mistake
you choose to teach,
with patient and love
you choose to educate
with self as a role model.
from you i learn,
anger can't solve problem,
quiet is the best solution
and silence is for the strong.
time past fast,
but doesn't erased the love i have towards you,
for it deepened as days past by,
and i love you more and more with time that past.
forever you'll be,
the hero in my life,
as i forever will be
the little angel of your heart.
Feelings..
Words are hard to be say,
feelings are even harder to be expressed,
of how i feel towards you,
deep down in my heart.
So wish do I
tightly hug you in my embraces,
to listen to your heart beat,
to smell the fragrance of your body.
but these are the things that i can never done,
i do love you deep down in my heart,
but the courage to hug and say i love you,
is something i can hardly do.
i will always remember ,
of the time when you proclaim to the world,
how much you love me,
how important I am to you.
For it's that moment,
i feel being love,
I feel being taken care of,
by a hero and that you.
Always in my mind,
times when i'm small.
how you hold my hand,
how you teach me math.
never once you feel tired,
never once you loose your temper,
even though you explain the same thing
and i still make same mistake
you choose to teach,
with patient and love
you choose to educate
with self as a role model.
from you i learn,
anger can't solve problem,
quiet is the best solution
and silence is for the strong.
time past fast,
but doesn't erased the love i have towards you,
for it deepened as days past by,
and i love you more and more with time that past.
forever you'll be,
the hero in my life,
as i forever will be
the little angel of your heart.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
something i really wish to change.
there are many time i face lots of problem because i unable to take a stand.... how to support a particular party when you truly understand how and why each party have their own point..... sometime i really hate myself for this... why feel so much... choose one party and fight till the end.. aren't its good... why wanna be the middle person.... but i knew very well i cant... haiz... how to deal with this thing....
second thing , something i dont like about myself is why i usually dont have the courage to say out my mind.... and think lead to me unable to be true to myself.... truly envy some of my friend that can stand up for their friends and love ones... why i cant do it.. did i really wanted so much to be in people good book.... did I....
third thing is when will i learn to be more responsible.... haiz.. i also don't understand why its so hard for some of my friend to believe in my ability.... when i say i will it means that i will.... why question when you want to find me.... haiz... i found out that actually i mind.. infarct i too mind how people view and say about me.. every question of doubt that you throw out will lead to two ending.. one is i getting nervous and start to doubt my own capabilities, second thing is i do more things you say its wrong just to prove you wrong will definitely earn me another good title of being stuborn...
after all that i say.. is it really my problem... i have try to change.. but change back to usual self real soon..... is my nature really that week..... getting tired of being label stubborn, indecisive and all sort of title i get..... sometime i just wish i find more people that understand me.... someone who i dont need to explain things and she know its not me, someone who wont be afraid and question on my ability to bring them from one place to one place.... haiz.... after all problem still lies in me..... too mind for other feeling and i will see for myself how this feeling kill me in no time....
second thing , something i dont like about myself is why i usually dont have the courage to say out my mind.... and think lead to me unable to be true to myself.... truly envy some of my friend that can stand up for their friends and love ones... why i cant do it.. did i really wanted so much to be in people good book.... did I....
third thing is when will i learn to be more responsible.... haiz.. i also don't understand why its so hard for some of my friend to believe in my ability.... when i say i will it means that i will.... why question when you want to find me.... haiz... i found out that actually i mind.. infarct i too mind how people view and say about me.. every question of doubt that you throw out will lead to two ending.. one is i getting nervous and start to doubt my own capabilities, second thing is i do more things you say its wrong just to prove you wrong will definitely earn me another good title of being stuborn...
after all that i say.. is it really my problem... i have try to change.. but change back to usual self real soon..... is my nature really that week..... getting tired of being label stubborn, indecisive and all sort of title i get..... sometime i just wish i find more people that understand me.... someone who i dont need to explain things and she know its not me, someone who wont be afraid and question on my ability to bring them from one place to one place.... haiz.... after all problem still lies in me..... too mind for other feeling and i will see for myself how this feeling kill me in no time....
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Time For Some Serious Thinking
maybe the time is now for me to really consider which one i will choose to be my upcoming lover...... which one should i choose...... both have the criteria that i want but cant denied one did stand out from another..... thinking of asking advice but there it goes to the usual fong theng that are unable to make self decision.... and its hard to find a person who can explain it to me and not indirectly asking me to choose what being suggested..... my inner voice sometime yield to be rebelious.. so the more a person ask me to take that particular one. indirectly i will choose the one that are not suggested.... so its really hard for me to find a suitable person who can really give me the advice that i one..... maybe what being suggested is good enough for me but i knew well i wont really be able to control my self rebellion...
used to say... inner is more important than the outside... thought it was my principle for so long but actually did i really that cool not to really care the outer surface.... i guess not... i knew well the one that i should choose but a sense of pride, a sense of being unique hold me from really choose it.... between two... which one will i take....
sometime... something in my heart that are really hard to share out with people outside.. maybe they are hard to understand and will just label me as being stubborn... a gelaran i earn myself unconsciously and maybe the more people say the more i would like to show the stubbornest out..... but to be truely speaking.. sometime.. something that you say make me feel i'm being threatened and thus make me do things opposite of what being told just to prove you are wrong.... weird me but on the positive side that the uniqueness of a person i called myself....
theng
used to say... inner is more important than the outside... thought it was my principle for so long but actually did i really that cool not to really care the outer surface.... i guess not... i knew well the one that i should choose but a sense of pride, a sense of being unique hold me from really choose it.... between two... which one will i take....
sometime... something in my heart that are really hard to share out with people outside.. maybe they are hard to understand and will just label me as being stubborn... a gelaran i earn myself unconsciously and maybe the more people say the more i would like to show the stubbornest out..... but to be truely speaking.. sometime.. something that you say make me feel i'm being threatened and thus make me do things opposite of what being told just to prove you are wrong.... weird me but on the positive side that the uniqueness of a person i called myself....
theng
Friday, May 14, 2010
Time for a new Lover
its being some time since i wrote my previous post and hence update my blog... well... after all that i face, now that i look back on how i undergone what i label as hell week, i only got one word for myself..... proud... i still couldnt believe how i manage to pass the week... sleepless night, assignment all on dateline, few arguement with friends and many more... and still the week pass....
back to second thing.... My Lover..... Lover Lover.... why you leave me... i mengaku that i got the thinking of throw you, but i didnt do it... i just say only... but you.. you take it so real... not even give me a second chance to explain my love towards you... one action is enough for you to erase all the memories of our get together... and you are very cruel... you left and bring together with you all my important stuff.... all gone with you in momment i need.... but.. there is a but... i still love you.... you are always my first... nothing can replace this position you earn in my life and my heart.... i guess its time for you to rest and pass me to another... maybe you are tired... but rest assured you live in my heart...
now tht my lover have gone... its time for a new one...... i promise i care for you with my heart and i know my weakness... i will never repeat the same mistake but i do hope you will be a pleasant one.... hopefully your love is equal to mine if you cant love me more....
as for my hostel... i get into campus hostel... but there are still something i worry about.... then for my water tumbler... i will find 1 in penang..... hope will last.......
back to second thing.... My Lover..... Lover Lover.... why you leave me... i mengaku that i got the thinking of throw you, but i didnt do it... i just say only... but you.. you take it so real... not even give me a second chance to explain my love towards you... one action is enough for you to erase all the memories of our get together... and you are very cruel... you left and bring together with you all my important stuff.... all gone with you in momment i need.... but.. there is a but... i still love you.... you are always my first... nothing can replace this position you earn in my life and my heart.... i guess its time for you to rest and pass me to another... maybe you are tired... but rest assured you live in my heart...
now tht my lover have gone... its time for a new one...... i promise i care for you with my heart and i know my weakness... i will never repeat the same mistake but i do hope you will be a pleasant one.... hopefully your love is equal to mine if you cant love me more....
as for my hostel... i get into campus hostel... but there are still something i worry about.... then for my water tumbler... i will find 1 in penang..... hope will last.......
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
BAD LUCK..........
so many things have happened in such a short short time.... this year can be counted i lost most of my belongings.....first thing first... i lost 2 water tumbler in less then 3 month... sad to think is i really choose and pick before buy the first wan... brother suggestion... use the water mineral bottle... lost buy again.... second... my laptop give me problem... this time might be really big problem.... whole thing can not start... black screen... all this happened after i put it in a sleep mode or maybe after i transfer documents to group member.... kena attack from virus, it time for it to go... nobody knows.... ask few friends about my laptop condition... some say is monitor problem, some say hardware, some say motherboard, some say processor... what do i say headache.... what i really tak sampai hati is the document in it... my stories, my video, my picture, my notes, my previous assignment, my flight intinery.. all gone.... gone and i dont have a extra copy... so what can i say.. other than heartbreak also heartbreak.... impossible i get back inside things if i change the so called kerosakan... plus the cost summore.... HAIZ.. rosak in wrong time summore.... people wanna rush assignment time only breakdown.... was it a sign from god telling me i should study and that why he takes away my laptop... well if that so, the price i have to pay is too big liao... not even really dare to tell family laptop problem... sure bro say again.... haiz... third.. cause i dont believe the early bird get worms,so i choose to register a bit late... guess what happened.. the line breakdown... can not log in to the server... due date just tomorrow.. so another one word that is die... maybe indirectly i choose to stay outside but that not really my plan... dont know la.. leave to god.... human propose, god dispose......
Thursday, March 18, 2010
control
there are a few post that i write half way that i have not being able to finish it up yet.. will post it sometime soon. one thing i wish to share here is i feel i'm getting more and more hard to control myself. i dont know why but i feel very rebelious nowadays. not rebelious with family but with friends. i just feel the urge to prove my point and rebel what they say.. what happened to me... i just cant seems to control myself anymore. is it from the effect i too controling myself. i need to control it back but now i'm lost, totally lost in how i will manage to do that. i also dont know how to explain... guess there are something wrong with me somewhere out of no where.... haiz..... i also dont know how this attitude will come and hit me where by right i'm already over the rebelious period... can it be say that my development terbantut that now only i grow..... haiz.... could someone please tell me how to control back myself....
because of my rebelious attitude that hit me nowadays, i feel that i indirectly hurt some of my friend or maybe i'm too sensitive but i dont really enjoy this rebelious attitude.. haiz.... there are also something wrong with me also in my trust towards my own life principle... i dont know why but i seems to question back my own principle which i have honour for few years already.... guess the devil of me started to show it kewujudan and if the angel side of me cant win this war, everything gone.... it sound like i'm mad right... fighting with self thought, i do scared i will..... oh god.... guess i should find time to relax back my mind before i do gone mad... now i know too much question on moral values is not good for mind.. and being a psychologist student, i cant seems to help myself also.... haiz.... how to balanced the evil and the angel side of me.... i truely need help.......
because of my rebelious attitude that hit me nowadays, i feel that i indirectly hurt some of my friend or maybe i'm too sensitive but i dont really enjoy this rebelious attitude.. haiz.... there are also something wrong with me also in my trust towards my own life principle... i dont know why but i seems to question back my own principle which i have honour for few years already.... guess the devil of me started to show it kewujudan and if the angel side of me cant win this war, everything gone.... it sound like i'm mad right... fighting with self thought, i do scared i will..... oh god.... guess i should find time to relax back my mind before i do gone mad... now i know too much question on moral values is not good for mind.. and being a psychologist student, i cant seems to help myself also.... haiz.... how to balanced the evil and the angel side of me.... i truely need help.......
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